heeeeeya guys :D

long time no blog~! i've missed this little corner of the internet so much. here's a life update and an archive i felt like rewinding through.

hello! this blog has been collecting dust, because for some reason i was procrastinating what to post next. i'm posting this so i can try to get into the flow rather than seeing that arashi mv judging and staring at me as i lurk around.

well, i just got back from a call. i had the coolest plans, i was going to take a course for something i was genuinely interested in, that being cybersecurity!! until the very last second when they asked if i had lived in the country for a certain amount of years.... i mean... no? i've been outside the country for a bit. so right as i was getting my papers ready to meet them in person, they rejected me............ i was so excited!! :0 LIKE WAHT?????

the person on the other line sounded even more devastated than me though, lolol. "ooh.... that's bad.... so sorry :(..... oh dear....." WHY IS THAT EVEN A CRITERIA?? i shall look into that later. at least i don't have to go out i guess, it's way too hot.......... looking at the brighter side of things..........

i'm glad it happened over the phone at least, because rejection in person is a whole other level of devastation. i'm a little shaken up but that's life!! maybe it wasn't meant to be. it's like i was little red riding hood skipping toward where i wanted to go, and the job turned out to be the wolf dressed as a delicious cookie waiting at the door. sneaky sneaky!! (speaking of wolf, happy belated 14th anniversary exo!)

but........ the thing is, cybersecurity genuinely fascinates me. i remember going on a business trip to fujitsu a while back. there was this guy who looked like batman standing in front of a massive screen showing a globe with cyberattacks being tracked across it in real time, just pointing things out so coolly. i was standing there completely starstruck. something about that moment just never left me, so yeah, the rejection stings a little extra knowing that ;; but eh, it's no big deal. i'm over it. it's gucci....... *sniff* *sniff*

"oh did you hear a live action of a show you watch all the time is coming out...? i forgot the name...."

i've been playing a concerning amount of maplestory idle rpg lately...... i want to keep going but i'm broke and completely stuck on stage 10 in kerning city ;; taking a little break for now i think.

anyway, it's friday!! no real plans today, might head out later in the afternoon but for now it's me and lovely complex time.

oh oh! i also started coding my april layout and went with an ookami shoujo to kuro ouji theme, because why not after that review lol. i'm really excited to get to the decoration part once the base is done!!

hope everyone has a lovely friday and a relaxing weekend ahead >:3

koi logging out.

qotd: what are your favourite character tropes/archetypes in media?

currently playing: 

sleeping prince by iu

wow...... i love the internet... i somehow ended up on a wedding forum and people were discussing kdramas and trading cds!!! it was nice to see shows from my to-watch list finally get mentioned. ahem, my lovely samsoon, ahem, my girl. i think samsoon is next so i can comfortably go through my hyunbin phase on pinterest without the guilt of only having watched secret garden n cloy. gotta expand the hyunbin palate, ehehe.

i also tried playing mystic messenger again and dropped it...... again. okay fine, i figured out how to avoid mr. unknown jumpscaring me, but the hourglass system and 3am chats? why text during ungodly hours!??!?!?!?!? who's awake 24/7??? ㅠㅠ. played obey me to fill the void and got real bored (levi is such a chatterbox... he's just like me). now i'm looking into ds/3ds games and... why are all the good ones in japanese????? I WANNA PLAY HANA YORI DANGO TOO!!!!!

oh, before my phone died i had a family dinner and won x's and o's against my cousin. he remembered the bet and got me a free drink. the fruit punch was delightful, mwehehe >:3

okok, deuces!

reminder: write a post about wolf girl n black prince live action.

life is piling up like dirty laundry (but i'm alright)

the deeper we get into 2026 the more things keep piling up, but i'm okay. i've been working on my coffee prince site theme, made a header and it's giving different vibes from the gongchan one but i like it (it kinda reminds me of bear in the big blue house for some odd reason). also celebrated my birthday with naruto ops/eds, flan, a bit of nanny mcphee, and got the loveliest messages from friends. thank you guys!! ヽ(;▽;)ノ

also went back to reading lovely complex and it is genuinely the best manga. consider this your sign from rewindnote, yush!!!

last thing, i had the weirdest dream............. (are we suprised?) i'll spare the details and give you the short version: tech convention, robots everywhere, everyone gets trapped in a massive cage. i was unlucky enough to be right against the fence so my face was getting squished. then transformers showed up (not attacking, just... spawning and looking intimidating). summer time era yamapi appeared, a door magically opened, and he saved me..... just me for some reason. we ran into the light and left everyone else behind. the end.

hope everyone has a relaxing week~ i shall go read lovely complex now!!!!

koi logging out :]

i did write entries during that time, just never posted them. my latest draft alone had: me noticing how the first 2 seconds of sky by tvxq sounds like something straight out of a dokgo rewind ost, watching a squirrel (probably joon) fall out of a tree and somehow glide, and me making the most awkward eye contact with a truck driver ringing a bell around the neighborhood. yeah... we really need to get curtains ;;

(i thought harim was eunchan in this pic... in my defense, someone commented on another post of him saying they thought the same so i'm NOT crazy. also i saw ANOTHER pic and thought the same thing AGAIN. LEAVE ME ALONE HARIMMMM. you know what? i should just put him as my pfp at this point. we basically have the same mbti anyway.)

anywhooo, happy first of march!!! i was working on my march layout and accidentally made something that screamed summer instead of spring, so i scrapped it and went with coffee prince instead. already did goong, so why not??

(idk if i like the green....... but it reminds me of mint chocolate so i'll keep it :3)

i rewatched the show today and i'll never stop saying this whenever i rewatch something: watching it now that i'm older hits different!!!!!!! (in a good way ofc) the show is actually so much funnier than i remembered it being. might just binge it at this point. if you haven't watched it yet, consider this your sign!!

fun fact: a while back, i looked into the show and found out it's based on a novel, so it's been on my reading list collecting dust, because why...? it's in korean!!!! ㅠㅠ but i heard there's a fan translation floating around somewhere (that's ofc, not 100% accurate). still curious tho. to be fair, i already have the long vacation novel in my pocket, and i could try painfully translating it as well...... hmmm.... when i have time i'm gonna look around and see if i can get my hands on it.

hope you're all having an amazing weekend! talk soon~

koi logging out.

currently playing:
oh my god by NC.A

technology never fails to suprise me... like i know how far we've come but it still catches me off guard sometimes ㅜㅜ

so the other day i had two songs stuck in my head (you know that feeling where it's on loop and you just can't shake it), the problem was they weren't on my soundcloud anymore. either the account got wiped or the songs just got removed; whatever happened, they were gone. but i still remembered the melody so i thought... 'why not just hum it into google and see what happens?'

zero expectations. random songs kept popping up and i was ready to give up-- but then........ IT WORKED!!!!! :0 (now i'm not saying i'm built different when it comes to humming....... but i'm also not NOT saying that~ B])

but.....what gets me is how it even works. lyrics i understand because the words are right there to match, but humming?! and somehow it knows exactly what song.... h-how?? what is this sorcery?!?!?!?!??!

anyway. it's friday night and i just wanted to share that little win before the weekend starts. hope everyone gets some real rest (you've earned it); but also tell me your plans because i'm genuinely curious. staying in or getting out? >:]

on my end i kinda wanna rewatch snow white with the red hair (shirayuki my beloved ㅠㅠ)... but i really need to stop rewatching the same things and find something new. so i might finally continue the apothecary diaries. maomao i'm so sorry i left you like that I'M COMING BACK I PROMISE ㅠㅠ

just got off a meeting and i'm trying not to spiral but. why do job applications need TWO references?? two?? i can't even think of one person off the top of my head right now and that information is just sitting with me. like a little sad clown. anyway i have until next week to figure it out so it's fine. it's fine!! 

i shall take a bath, watch a movie, and simply reset......... ;; sometimes that's the only logical response to a day like this. very important self care. very necessary. the bath will fix everything and if it doesn't then the movie will. and if the movie doesn't then i will simply go to sleep and try again tomorrow :']

hope everyone's having a lovely day :] also i looked up at exactly 11:11 and then got distracted writing this and missed it. 11:12. every time.

ok so. my dreams have been getting increasingly unhinged the further we get into february and i feel like i owe it to you guys to document them. last night i was apparently employed at a library/bookstore hybrid (i got the job like it was roblox. job title floating above my head and everything) and i was doing everything except actual work. picked up two books, got bored, couldn't figure out where to return them... and then shelved them in the horror section because they were red. colour coded them. by colour. i am so sorry to any librarians reading this, please do not revoke my borrowing privileges.

morning! i had a weird dream yet again...

so picture this: a bougie version of the tipton hotel from suite life of zack & cody. we (me + the hotel people) went on a little field trip -- a cute little outing, if you will. the activity? a sliding competition. mario kart style. except the venue was somehow DEEPLY dingy and creepy, which raises questions about the event planning committee...

oh and markiplier was there. jacksepticeye too, except he was sitting all the way in the front looking like he just crawled out of a 2016 while mark looked completely current.

okay wow i am absolutely knackered. had another job meeting today and it actually went great, so we take the win and we smile about it. growth. progress. adult points acquired. still feels a bit weird posting here like i’ve been neglecting this place :,<

valentine’s was surprisingly wholesome this year. getting to celebrate through the layout swap was actually so cute. i really love mine (shout out to nara, and thank u eugene once again for hosting >:D). it's nice to have tiny traditions like that.

OH! i want to show u guys something cool! so basically i've been browsing around rednote, and my feed suddenly looked odd. i saw a bunch of vids of ppl finding old items in abandoned places.

how do they even find these things?? and where did these people go......? anyway. that's pretty much it. v cool. kinda creepy tho....

alright! sleep is dragging me by the collar. i hope you’re all doing okay out there. drink water. say something nice to ur plushies. goodnight :]

qotd: if u could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?

currently playing:
love poem by iu

my brain got stuck on this one weird thought.

remember that old thing where you sneeze and someone says, "oh, someone's thinking about you"? what if it's not someone else at all. what if..... what if every sneeze is a little signal from your future self?

maybe... it's not about someone missing you in the present. but a hiccup in time; your future consciousness, maybe feeling nostalgic or willing you strength, accidentally brushing against your present moment. a cosmic ping if u will! it reframes the whole superstition into something more intimate: you... being haunted..... by the person you have yet to become... DUN-DUN-DUN!!

and it makes me wonder... if that's true, then my future self must be thinking about me a lot lately. whenever i'm having a stupidly hard time, i can't help but look back and reminisce about my past self-- how they got through things i now see as simple, how they were stronger than they knew. and if i'm doing that to my past, then my future self is probably doing the same for current me (...?), looking back on this very moment with that same bittersweet fondness (;;) gaaaah!

think abt it.... your past self is your foundation, your present self is the work in progress(?), and your future self is already rooting for you, sending back sneezy little telegrams of solidarity. def a reason to be a little kinder to all three of us. 

just a random, yet weird thought... i should probably go to bed......

station anomalies

so, last night i had the weirdest, most detailed dream. it felt like watching the beginning of a 4/10 rated movie, super confusing.......

the main character, let's call this person mc, was a fairly famous track and field runner. they had just gotten divorced from this hugely famous ice skater, the absolute best in the world (let's call him takeshi... he had a longer, fancier name i can't remember). he left mc with their dog and this crazy expensive loft apartment, and mc's barely getting by alone.

the dream cut to mc watching tv, and there's takeshi on the news talking about his next big skate. then, my brain just decided to teleport mc. no transition. mc's suddenly in this bizarre, crowded "train station." there's a train in the center, and on the side, this huge, ominous flight of stairs leading up to a massive, creepy door. (i guess the exit was not renovated... @_@).

anywho, in the crowd, there's an anomaly. a guy who looks exactly like takeshi. same face, but different outfit(?) mc freaks out and bolts back to the train. why? heck! idk. dream logic ig....

mc gets on, and the cast expands. there's a lady in an elegant dress just.... calmly holding a sloshing plastic bucket of water. a man in a wrinkled business suit, adjusting his glasses with trembling hands. a teenager who wouldn't meet anyone's eyes, curled into their seat... (mood). anyway!

the train didn't chug or clack. it just... ZOOOOMED. a smooth, loud acceleration that pressed poor mc into the seat. and that's when i woke up. WOOSH!

THIS DREAM WAS SO ODD I HAD TO SHARE. maybe i dreamt of a skater bcuz of the winter olympics this year... (a year without yuzuru ㅠㅠ) cuz why else would i have a dream about a skater? hmm??? my brain made a whole dramatic, divorced-athlete, parallel-universe thriller and then dropped it. thanks, brain.

mkay, goodnight!

koi logging off.

today was a weirdly productive rainy day. it’s kinda nice since i had no plans to go out. i made lunch, cleaned the dishes, didn’t even let them sit in the sink “to soak” for 9 business hours... (i also did some drawing with people online… and wow, their skills were kinda intimidating ㅠㅠ)

hey guys!! january really said bonus round and dumped a pile of side quests on me so i never got to close the month properly GAAAH. but anyway. FEBRUARY JUST KICKED THE DOOR OPEN HELLOOOOO >:D

tomorrow i have a job centre meeting and my brain is acting like i’m about to defend a thesis instead of just… talking to a human. i swear i feel like three kids stacked in a blazer trying to pass as an employable adult (why is adulthood just roleplay). logically it’ll be fine but emotionally i am a dramatic side character on a bus hoping there are no other passengers.

writing this at the rollerskating rink… it’s 8:30pm (posting tomorrow bc low battery. edit: it is tomorrow).

it was 18+ night, so i brought my driver’s license like a responsible adult. the guy checked it, looked at me, then said, “wow… you look young.” i genuinely thought i was about to be denied entry, but i survived!!! this was also my first time on proper quad skates (i’ve only ever used inline), which explains why my balance immediately betrayed me. the retro theme was great though. it felt like i’d stepped into another decade, the dj was solid, and every time i passed his booth i nearly ate the floor (very immersive experience). 

hello! so i’ve been offline doing a bunch of side quests lately, one of which was a bike ride. unfortunately, i got the wrong batteries for my camera, so i had to improvise. i saw a lot of photographers with their fancy setups and got a little envious, but i still managed to take some cool pictures with my phone!