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est.2025 you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough

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koi

i like quiet mornings

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welcome to my digital diary ~ now playing: Persona PSP Soundtrack - School Days ~ currently watching: long vacation (1996)


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Updates:
- 09/30 - new theme!! 经典 journal - 09/08 added guestbook + shared button with friends (skeleton done!!)
- 09/03 new header tweaks
- 08/28 uploaded diary skin
- 08/20 gallery refreshed

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

soooo… idk how this happened (as usual) but i fell down another rabbit hole in my eternal hobby of “stumbling into random corners of the internet for no reason at all.” i found this blog: jeannybeans.blogspot.com. and at first i was like “cute blogspot name haha” and moved on… but then…

SHE’S A VISUAL EFFECTS PRODUCER.

LIKE A REAL ONE.

i looked up her imdb page and bro… she worked on happy feet… narnia… freaking garfield… g-force… alice in wonderland… literally movies i watched a MILLION times as a kid. she helped create the stuff that shaped my brain chemistry. that’s insane. imagine being able to look at a movie and be like, “yeah i helped choosing the hue for that scene.” like what.

and it kinda made me stop and think for once. wow. people really go out there and do things. big things. things that stay in the world. you can literally watch your work back decades later and go “that was me.” i want that??? maybe???

but also… i’d probably be the person who accidentally deletes the entire project like that story about toy story almost being wiped out… i do not trust myself with that level of responsibility. i would break hollywood in 24 hours.

recently i’ve been trying to figure out what job wouldn’t destroy my soul AND gives money because sadly we live in a society. teacher??? absolutely not i’ve watched enough “gen alpha ruined my life” videos to know better. librarian??? sounds cute but is it guaranteed or do they make you fight a dragon to get hired. technician??? i mean… i already yell at technology daily so maybe not.

i envy people who are like “this is what i wanna be!! since age 5!!” like ok congrats but what about the rest of us who still don’t know what to eat for dinner.

maybe it’s fine if i don’t know yet. maybe i’ll randomly discover my future job like how i discovered that blog; by clicking something random and going “huh neat.”

but for now i’ll stick to binge-watching kdramas and pretending i have my life together ^^;

koi logging out.

Labels: entries

♥︎ 4 Comments:

At 10/28/2025 9:31 pm , eugene said...: THAT'S SO COOL WHATTTTTT, i love when there's random connections across the internet where it's really true that people are just. people. alive internet theory lolz... i want it too tbh, that's why i try to write down as many ideas as i can, even if i don't finish them. sometimes i realize i cooked lolz (like with my splatoon au).

and ugh. same. especially since the arts don't pay well :') like don't get me wrong i love doing art without desiring physical gain from it, but like... i don't want a job that sucks out my soul to the point i can't do art!!! and ugh, being a librarian sounds so cool. until i found out you have to get a specialized master's degree (or phd?), and even then it doesn't pay well. at least that's how things are in the us.

i'm sure you'll find something koi!!! :D or maybe you'll find multiple things depending on what chapter you're in. it's easy for people to say you should stick with one thing as your life purpose, but there's so many beautiful things in the world. so many things to do and learn. taking nibbles from the delicacies of the mind isn't all that bad~
At 10/29/2025 12:31 am , nara said...: woah, her blog is so satisfying to look at! sometimes i kinda forget people like her are just regular human beings like me, so it's super fun to learn more about people who had a positive impact in ur life. i never would've guessed she had a blog, that's so awesome!

it's really cool how people like that have such nicely kept records of their work. i'd love to have something like that as well! honestly tho, i totally get u on the whole "finding a job that doesn't destroy ur soul" thing.. i thought i knew my career for sure, but now idk what to work as or what to eat for dinner. but we will figure it out, koi! don't worry too much~
At 10/29/2025 5:45 am , koi said...: hiii eugene nara!! omg i’m so glad i’m not alone in feeling this way ㅠㅠ it’s comforting to know that you both get the whole “finding a job without soul-sucking” struggle and the arts/creative passion balancing act. and yes, the whole idea of keeping a blog or record of your work… honestly inspiring, makes me wanna start doing it properly too. thank you for your thoughts, it really helps calm my spiraling brain a bit ^^;
At 10/29/2025 5:46 am , koi said...: good luck to us!! we’ll figure it out somehow, one messy, slightly panicked step at a time >:D

currently obsessed 最近沉迷:

drama: long vacation (1996)
song: moonlight - exo
food: fried rice!!!
games: random flash games, mahjong, sudoku, yakuza 0,

personality 性格

♡ daydreamer
♡ overly sentimental
♡ collects useless trinkets

favorites 最愛

colour(s): scarlet.... and...uh... ngl i like every colour!! :/
dessert: apple crumble, pancakes, sainsbury's cookies!!
drink: melon soda, thai tea boba, hata ramune, guava n mango juice

animal: ezo momonga, goldfishes, red pandas, pikas, golden snub-nosed monkey, arctic foxes, deers... and more!
season: spring // autumn
time: sunrise